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JFD123: Split Second, The Bat Whispers, Assault of the Killer Bimbos

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Rats, Bats and Bimbos. Oh my! It's time for another fun-filled episode of everybody's favorite cult movie podcast!

Up first this week, the JFD boys travel to the futuristic world of 2008, where global warming has covered London in a foot of water and hard-nosed cop Rutger Hauer is on the hunt for a supernatural killer that's ripping people's hearts out. Kim Cattrall, Alastair Duncan and Michael J. Pollard round out the cast in the 1992 cyber-punk action flick Split Second directed by Tony Maylam (The Burning).

Next, we take in what is by far the oldest film we've ever reviewed on the show, The Bat Whispers from 1930. In this visually stunning, black & white crime thriller directed by Roland West (Alibi), a mysterious criminal known as The Bat has a mansion full of hammy actors on edge.

And finally, Elizabeth Kaitan and Christina Whitaker play a pair of go-go dancers who are on the run after being framed for murder. Along the way the encounter truck stop waitresses, small town cops and a group of hard-partying surfers in the 1988 comedy Assault of the Killer Bimbos directed by Anita Rosenberg (Modern Girls) and co-written by Ted Nicolaou (Terror Vision).

All this plus witty banter between friends, glitchy Skype noise, soundboard antics, hating on re-makes, Junk Mail, DVD & Blu-ray releases, Nerd News and so much more!

LISTEN NOW:

MP3 Direct Download
Got a movie suggestion for the show, want to give your opinion on a movie we talked about or just want to tell us we suck? Drop us a line at JFDPodcast@gmail.com. Or leave us a voicemail: 347-746-JUNK (5865).

Also, if you like the show, please take a minute and subscribe and/or comment on us on iTunes, Stitcher, Blubrry or Podfeed.net. We gain psychic connections with murderous monsters  from your love and support.

JFD124: Two Idiots in Hollywood, Double Team, Conflict of Interest

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Hey, Junkies! Mark isn't here this week. He was murdered and set on fire while celebrating his birthday. In his stead, we have friend of the show, Kevin Merryman of CulturalAtrocities.com!

First, a couple of dummies leave their hometown of Dayton, Ohio for Tinseltown in 1988's "Two Idiots in Hollywood," written and directed by Stephen Tobolowsky. The film is a surreal musical meta comedy that's obsessed with pop culture that lampoons the movie business.

Next, Jean Claude Van Damme joins forces with NBA star Dennis Rodman to fight terrorism (in the form of Mickey Rourke) in "Double Team" from 1997. Hark Tsui directs this film about terrorism, revenge and children... and, uh... basketball metaphors and weird stuff like that.

Finally, a tough cop (Christopher McDonald) must deal with a sexy metal gang (lead by Judd Nelson and his girlfriend, Alyssa Milano) ruining his son's life in 1993's "Conflict of Interest." Stuntman Gary Davies directs this tale of rage, industrial music and chicken murder.

Direct Download

Got a movie suggestion for the show, want to give your opinion on a movie we talked about or just want to tell us we suck? Drop us a line at JFDPodcast@gmail.com. Or leave us a voicemail: 347-746-JUNK (5865).

Also, if you like the show, please take a minute and subscribe and/or comment on us on iTunes, Stitcher, Blubrry or Podfeed.net. We gain psychic connections with murderous monsters from your love and support.

JFD125: Heartbeeps, Detroit 9000, The Ninth Configuration

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We're a family again! Junk Food Dinner returns, stronger than ever before.*

Up first it's the touching story of robots in love. Andy Kaufman and Bernadette Peters star in the effects laden misstep HEARTBEEPS from 1981.

Next, the year is 1976 and we're hitting the streets of the Motor City and get caught in the middle of a race war with a killer soundtrack and Scatman Crothers! DETROIT 9000!

Finally, we get sidetracked on our way to the moon and end up in a mental asylum alongside Stacy Keach among others. It's William Peter Blatty's THE NINTH CONFIGURATION from 1980!

All this plus witty banter between friends, glitchy Skype noise, soundboard antics, laffs at the expensive of dead celebrities, Junk Mail, DVD & Blu-ray releases, Nerd News and so much more!
Direct Download Here


Got a movie suggestion for the show, want to give your opinion on a movie we talked about or just want to tell us we suck? Drop us a line at JFDPodcast@gmail.com. Or leave us a voicemail: 347-746-JUNK (5865).

Also, if you like the show, please take a minute and subscribe and/or comment on us on iTunes, Stitcher, Blubrry or Podfeed.net. We gain product placement deals with Pepsi from your love and support.

*Results may vary.

Nilbog is Goblin spelled backward!

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I just came across this music video while avoid tumblr posts about pansexuality and I figured I'd share it with you Junkies on account of it's fucking awesome. If you dudes are like me (and the ugly kid from "Conflict of Interest," then you like metal, especially when it's heavy. And this video is packed with that!

Even if you're some kind of dork and metal scares you, I think there's probably no denying that the video portion of this music video is nothing short of awesome and it should fall squarely up the alley of any fans of the show who are really, really into goblins.

Let the boy help your Netflix!

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Hey. As I mentioned on one of the recent episodes, I've been getting together occasionally with Jesse PS from Pod Awful to gussy up Netflix by recording audio commentaries for the shittiest and/or craziest streaming movies. It's a little something we like to call AwfulFlix. You can check it out at AwfulFlix.TK. You probably know how this sort of thing works, as we've done it a few times on JFD. Just download the episode and queue it up with the movie and bing bang boom, it's like having me and Jesse right there on your couch making fun of a crummy movie.

Anyway, here's a sample of the first flick, "Mac & Me." Upcoming commentaries for "The Stuff" and "Hollow Man" are coming up soon, too!

JFD126: Beer/ The Lost Weekend/ I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell

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We're boozing it up, figuratively and literally, this week to talk about three alcohol-fuelded flicks!

First up is 1985's "Beer," a satire of advertising, machismo and media starring David Alan Grier. Three average joes are hired to to be the spokesmen for Norbecker Beer, catapulting them to fame and fortune.

Next, a writer reaches the depths of alcoholism in 1945's "The Lost Weekend," directed by Billy Wilder. The movie has won multiple Academy Awards and was once described as "the most dangerous movie ever made."

Finally, three college kids hit the town for a crazy bachelor party in 2009's "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell." The film is co-written (and based on the book by) infamous internet star Tucker Max.

Direct Download here.

Remember to rate and review us on iTunes and Like us on Facebook!

Schlocktober 3: The Schlockening

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It's almost here, Junkies! Our Third(!) Annual Schlocktober celebration! If you're new to the show or are like me and don't remember things that happened last week, much less last year, then let me refresh you. Every October, we celebrate the greatest holiday on Earth by doing a theme show each week concerning a classic Halloween monster. This all leads up to our climactic Halloween show, where we review a trio of movies that place on Halloween (except Mark's pick, as is tradition.)

To get properly ready, you can relive our younger days and listen to Schlocktober Past. JFD79-JFD82 are last year's party (which is still on iTunes, as of right now) and JFD28-JFD32 were Year One, which you can only download on the website these days.

Anyway, here's the list for 2012, which could be the last Schlocktober ever. (Possibly, some dead Mayans believe.) Did we overlook your favorite Halloween movie? Did we get all your favorite classic monsters? Let us know via email at jfdpodcast @ gmail.com or on Facebook!

JFD129: Vampires

  • Vamp (1986)
  • Jugular Wine (1993)
  • Stake Land (2011)
JFD130: Frankensteins
  • Frankenstein Conquers the World (1965)
  • Gothic (1986)
  • Frankenhooker (1990)
JFD131: Killer Dolls
  • Black Devil Doll from Hell (1984)
  • Dolls (1987)
  • Child's Play 2 (1990)
JFD132: Werewolves
  • The Howling (1981)
  • Silver Bullet (1985)
  • An American Werewolf in Paris (1997)
JFD133: Halloween Week
  • The Day after Halloween (1979)
  • Halloween 2 (1981)
  • Night of the Demons (1988)

JFD127: Happy Life, Assault on Precinct 13, The Toxic Avenger

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One thing's for sure: this episode isn't sissy stuff! Firstly, we talk about the fate of Kevin's band, Parker's ovaries and Mark's raver lifestyle.

Then, an aging and increasingly uncool raver throws a party to save his Manhattan record store in 2011's "Happy Life." Directed and written by Michael M. Bilandic and produced by Abel Ferrara, this is a slice of life "slacker" flick in the vein of Linklater's earlier work.

Next, a gang violently descends upon an understaffed police station in John Carpenter's "Assault on Precinct 13" from 1976. In this modern-day western, it's up to two men to hold off hordes of gang members.

Finally, a 90-pound weakling is thrown into some radioactive waste and becomes "The Toxic Avenger," in the 1984 Troma classic. Directed by Lloyd Kaufman and Michael Herz, this is the granpappy of 'em all, spawning multiple sequels, comics, video games and even a children's cartoon.

Direct Download.

Remember to like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter. And follow Mark and Parker, too, if you want.


Turns out vampires CAN get worse than Twilight and True Blood

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Just stumbled on a trailer for a movie starring Alicia Silverstone. This is remarkable for two reasons. First, I didn't think I'd ever write that first sentence in a post-Y2K world. Secondly, we've all been belly-aching about how stuff like "Twilight" and "True Blood" have ruined vampires by turning them into either sparkly, vegetarian day walkers or "soap opera sexy" cajuns who live by more strict, ancient rules than the Taliban. But, it turns out vampires, both as a creative device and as a pop culture entity, can get way, way worse than either of those two aforementioned abominations.

Don't believe me? Here ya go:

This seems like one of those insanely shitty, unfunny Saturday Night Live movies, except it doesn't have the benefit of at least being based on a once-funny 3 minute sketch.

How fucking tired are these jokes? And haven't most of them already been given to us in movies like "Vampires Suck" and "Taintlight" in the last couple of months? At least actual funny person Ken Jeong was in one of those (unwatchable) movies, rather than Alicia Silverstone.

"Who's best to star in our new comedy about immortal vampires?"

"How about some girl who was in about 1.5 good movies in 1995 and nothing else?"

"She sounds perfect because we all remember her as a charming and adorable 21 year old, so suddenly seeing her as a old, gross, uncharismatic almost-40 wretch will really hammer home that 'ageless and immortal' vampire thing."

Anyway. In summation, Krysten Ritter is a next-level fox so I'm for sure gonna see this.

JFD128: Fantastic Four (1994), The Punisher (1989), Steel

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Faster than a speeding...uh, thing! More powerful than Mitchum brand deodorant! Able to watch the absolute dregs of cinema! Junk Food Dinner returns with our Sad-Sack-Superheros episode and, boy, is it something. 

 Up first - Reed, Sue and the whole gang are just doing their normal astronaut routine when suddenly they're blasted by cosmic radiation! Now armed with powers beyond their wildest dreams they have to team up and defend the Earth from the villainous Dr. Doom as - THE FANTASTIC FOUR! Wait, no, they have to stop a moleman from robbing banks, I guess. Wait, no, they have to take a laser into space or something. Look it doesn't matter. This hot mess from 1994 should have stayed NIB on the shelves for all eternity - it was never intended to be released and was only made to secure copyright! NUFF SAID! 

 Next - Frank Castle is a man with a one track mind - vengeance! A former cop who saw his families lived taken by gangland cronies, Castle (Dolph Lundgren) shed the shield and became the specter known as THE PUNISHER and left a trail of bodies in his wake (there are something like 91 on-screen kills in this) while striking fear in the hearts of goons everywhere. Certainly the best of the bunch and in a week like this, that's saying something. 

Finally - we retain our crown as the worlds greatest cult film and basketball podcast as we examine STEEL from 1997 starring Shaq! The big man himself plays a former weapons expert or something who, after an accident cripples his non-sexual life partner, quits the army (somehow) and goes home to live with his grandma. But when the weapons he helped design end up in the wrong hands (those hands belong to Judd Nelson, by the way) and end up on the streets. He assembles his team (including Richard Roundtree!) and takes the streets back. Armed with a modded sledgehammer and covered head to toe in armor - something something something A REAL SLAM DUNK! (Sorry I'm tired of talking about this movie.)


Direct Download Here.

All this plus witty banter between friends, another truly epic stinger, glitchy Skype noise, soundboard antics, Junk Mail, the wonder of hype-men, DVD & Blu-ray releases, Nerd News and so much more!

Got a movie suggestion for the show, want to give your opinion on a movie we talked about or just want to tell us we suck? Drop us a line at JFDPodcast@gmail.com. Or leave us a voicemail: 347-746-JUNK (5865).

Also, if you like the show, please take a minute and subscribe and/or comment on us on iTunes, Stitcher, Blubrry or Podfeed.net. We gain a genuine sense of human emotions from your love and support.

The Northwest Ordinance - Final Show

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Hey Junkies, Here's a little bit of shameless self-promotion, but my band The Northwest Ordinance had our final show over weekend after 8 years of playing music together. Here is some (erratic) footage from the final show of us playing a song listeners of the show will undoubtedly recognize. Enjoy: If you like what you hear, you can download/stream our entire catalog of music for FREE at our BandCamp page.

JFD129: Vamp, Stake Land, Interview with the Vampire

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Well, it's everyone's favorite time of year again, kids; Schlocktober! That magical month where we here at JFD, prepare for Halloween with theme shows each week dedicated to classic horror genres and we kick things off with a staple of Schlocktober, our VAMPIRE theme show.

The first bloodsucking flick on the docket this evening is Vamp from 1986. This surprising horror comedy starring Chris Makepeace (Meatballs), Robert Rusler (Weird Science) and Gedde Watanabe (UHF) is often mistaken for an art flick thanks to the VHS and DVD cover featuring a painted vampire Grace Jones.

Next, we find ourselves in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, where an outbreak is turning people into vampires (not zombies!). Luckily for young Martin (Connor Paolo), badass vampire slayer Mister (Nick Damici) is there to help him navigate through the crumbling landscape. Kelly McGillis (Top Gun) and Danielle Harris (Halloween, Hatchet) round out the cast in Stake Land from 2011.

 And finally, things get sexy as we revisit the seminal 1994 gothic drama Interview with the Vampire. With a cast full of hunks (Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, Antonio Banderas, Christian Slater) and a pint-sized Kirsten Dunst, we debate whether this acclaimed and influential vampire flick, based on the novel by Anne Rice, still holds up and if straight men can actually enjoy it.

All this plus witty banter between friends, soundboard antics, emo songs with Parker's name in them, Junk Mail, DVD & Blu-ray releases, Nerd News and so much more!

LISTEN NOW:


MP3 Direct Download

Got a movie suggestion for the show, want to give your opinion on a movie we talked about or just want to tell us we suck? Drop us a line at JFDPodcast@gmail.com. Or leave us a voicemail: 347-746-JUNK (5865).

Also, if you like the show, please take a minute and subscribe and/or comment on us on iTunes, Stitcher, Blubrry or Podfeed.net. We gain psychic connections with murderous monsters  from your love and support. 

Well, I found my worst nightmare...

Trailers that are relevant to Parker's interests and/or life!

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A few trailers came out this week that are really geared for me, Parker. The first I wanna show you is entitled "Parker." We talked about this movie on the show a while back in its embryo phase, I think, and it tickled me pink. It concerns a man named Parker played by international tough guy Jason Statham and part of it was filmed in my home state of Ohio, so clearly it's loosely based on my life.

Anyway, this looks like some ol' usual Jason Statham stuff, which is to say: awesome. Clifton Collins (Rules of Attraction, The Stoned Age) is apparently in it too, which is awesome cuz he rules and the trailer teases a that we may see Jennifer Lopez's butt, which is the best part of Jennifer Lopez, so everything seems to be adding up nicely here.

In other (probably better) trailer news, the new Bret Easton Ellis creation "The Canyons," has a trailer. This flick is going straight to Netflix because that's how things will be in the future and it seems cool. If you didn't learn it from our Bret Easton Ellis theme show, I fucking love everything this dude does*, so I'm totally into this. Admittedly, the casting of Lindsey Lohan seems more like a cry for attention than anything else, but what are you gonna do? Here's the (super cool) trailer:

*Except some of "The Informers."

JFD130: Gothic, Frankenstein Conquers the World, Frankenhooker

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Schlocktober continues with a trio of films about a kind of monster that can only be described as "so sick."

First, director Ken Russell tells the story of the horrors that lead Mary Shelley to write the original "Frankenstein" book in "Gothic" from 1986. This crazy hallucinogen of a film features an all-star cast (featuring Julian Sands!) living out their nightmares at a party in a secluded mansion.

Next,atomic radiation causes the creature to grow to epic sizes in 1965's Kaiju flick "Frankenstein Conquers the World." Frankenstein's monster is being studies by Japanese scientists and breaks free to combat other huge monsters that may or may have back-stories of their own.

Finally, after her death, a scientist aims to resurrect his fiancé using prostitute parts in 1990's cult classic "Frankenhooker." Frank Henenlotter (Basket Case, Brain Damage) writes and directs this hilariously violent and erotic take on the Frankenstein story.

Download here if you're lookin' for some action.

Got a movie suggestion for the show, want to give your opinion on a movie we talked about or just want to tell us we suck? Drop us a line at JFDPodcast@gmail.com. Or leave us a voicemail: 347-746-JUNK (5865).

Also, if you like the show, please take a minute and subscribe and/or comment on us on iTunes, Stitcher or like us on Facebook.


JFD131: Black Devil Doll from Hell, Child's Play 2, Dolls

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As SHLOCKTOBER 3 builds with terrifying voracity we're only a matter of weeks away from the best holiday. This week, though, we're talking killer dolls and it's quite a lineup.

Up first we have a DEVIL of a time cracking wise about Chester N. Turner's first feature (in a career of two) about a Jesus freak who yearns to freak in a different way. It's 7 minutes of credits, followed by 63 minutes of the steamiest puppet sex this side of Tuesday in 1984's - BLACK DEVIL DOLL FROM HELL!

Next, Chucky's back! Now with more terrifying facial expressions, wittier banter, and hostage negotiations! Andy's there, too but who cares when you have all this amazing, cutting edge animatronic work and iconic voice acting to soak up! CHILD'S PLAY 2 from 1990!

Finally, Stuart Gordon and Brian Yuzna team up in what could be described as a practice run for the entire PUPPET MASTER series. Six people end up at the home of some reeeeeeeeeeeal creepy toy makers and some reeeeeeeeeeeeeal terrible stuff happens in DOLLS!

Direct DOLLload Here.

All this plus witty banter between friends, dead eyes and tiny hands, less glitchy Skype noise, soundboard antics, Junk Mail, discussions of where you should and shouldn't put hot meals, DVD & Blu-ray releases, Nerd News and so much more!

Got a movie suggestion for the show, want to give your opinion on a movie we talked about or just want to tell us we suck? Drop us a line at JFDPodcast@gmail.com. Or leave us a voicemail: 347-746-JUNK (5865).

Also, if you like the show, please take a minute and subscribe and/or comment on us on iTunes, Stitcher, Blubrry or Podfeed.net. We gain a genuine sense of human emotions from your love and support.

Rock the Vote: JFD's 400th Movie/Next Audio Commentary Episode!

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Good news, everyone!! Our 400th movie is coming up! By our calculations, we'll be reviewing the 400th JFD movie in the last week of November. And just like the centennial movies before, we're letting you dudes pick the movie then we'll be doing an audio commentary episode for it! In the past, you guys picked Howard the Duck(JFD35), C.H.U.D. (JFD69), and The Warriors (JFD103).

For movie 400, here are your sexy, scary and wacky choices. Vote by using the little votey widget in the top left corner.




JFD132: The Howling, An American Werewolf in Paris, Silver Bullet

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Aawhooooooo! It's the fourth week of Schlocktober and this week the boys are joined by special guest host Katie Rots from the excellent Rotten Rantings podcast to howl at the moon and discuss three unique werewolf films.

Up first, under appreciated scream queen Dee Wallace plays Karen White, a reporter who, after a traumatizing encounter with a local serial killer is sent to new age rehabilitation retreat with her husband to help get over the event. But soon it is discovered that the serial killer and the folks at the retreat are not what they seem as things take a wolfish turn in the 1981 horror film The Howling, directed by Joe Dante.

Then, Andy McDermott (Tom Everett Scott) and his two daredevil buddies (Vince Vieluf and Phil Buckman) are vacationing in Paris. But after Andy saves a young woman's life (Julie Delpy) and subsequently falls in love with her, the Americans are sucked into an underground cult of werewolves, in the much-lauded 1997 follow-up to An American Werewolf in London, An American Werewolf in Paris.

And finally, Gary Busey plays drunken uncle to a wheelchair-bound Corey Haim. Life is good in their small town until people start dying mysteriously left and right. The Haimster discovers not only who the murderer is, but also his wolfen secret, it's up to him and his uncle to bring an end to the carnage in 1985's Silver Bullet.

All this plus witty banter between friends, soundboard antics, dead softcore porn stars, Junk (voice)Mails, DVD & Blu-ray releases, Nerd News and so much more!

LISTEN NOW:

MP3 Direct Download

Got a movie suggestion for the show, want to give your opinion on a movie we talked about or just want to tell us we suck? Drop us a line at JFDPodcast@gmail.com. Or leave us a voicemail: 347-746-JUNK (5865).

Also, if you like the show, please take a minute and subscribe and/or comment on us on iTunes, Stitcher, Blubrry or Podfeed.net. We gain super-human wolf powers from your love and support.  

JFD's November Schedule

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Hey, Junkies! I think we're gonna start posting our schedule a little ahead of time, just for giggles. Sadly, next week is the last week of October and Schlocktober, but fear not! November holds fun new holidays like Cranksgiving and our landmark 400th movie!!

JFD134: Randomizer 5000

  • The last Randomizer episode was such awful, terrible fun that we're doing it again! Check out next week's episode to find out what movies get pulled out at random.
JFD135: David Cronenberg Theme Show
  • Shivers (1975)
  • Videodrome (1983)
  • A History of Violence (2005)
JFD136
  • American Hunter (1990)
  • Bulletproof (1988)
  • Crank (2006)
JFD137: 400th Movie Audio Commentary
  • Use the widget on the top left of the site to vote for our 400th movie and we'll do an audio commentary for it! Whatever's in the lead when we record episode 136 will be the winner!

JFD133: Halloween 2, The Day After Halloween, Night of the Demons

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Schlocktober culminates in a big, bloody mess of hot Halloween-themed movies!

First, Michael Myers returns in the sequel to the genre-defining classic "Halloween 2," from 1981, starring Jamie Lee Curtis and Dick Warlock (lol!). John Carpenter steps down from directing to co-write this follow-up that takes place immediately after the end of the original.

Next, a young Australian model gets more than she asks for in "The Day after Halloween" aka "Snapshot" from 1979. This movie has nothing to do with Halloween!

Finally, a trick or treat party turns ugly in 1988's "Night of the Demons" starring Linnea Quigley (Return of the Living Dead), directed by Kevin Tenny (Demolition University).

Direct Donloyd Here!

The audio's a little wacky in parts, but hey, we recorded during a goddamn hurricane, man.

Got a movie suggestion for the show, want to give your opinion on a movie we talked about or just want to tell us we suck? Drop us a line at JFDPodcast@gmail.com. Or leave us a voicemail: 347-746-JUNK (5865).

Also, if you like the show, please take a minute and subscribe and/or comment on us on iTunes, Stitcher, Blubrry or Podfeed.net. We gain super-human wolf powers from your love and support.  

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