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Junk Food Dinner is a weekly podcast devoted to cult films, sci-fi, horror movies and everything weird and wild about the cinematic art form. Your three hilarious and good-looking hosts each pick a movie and then argue about why we did or did not like them.

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    This week, we put on our spandex aerobics gear and tease our hair as we check out three '80s heavy metal horror flicks. First up, a band called The Tritons check into a creepy old house to record an album in 1987's "Rock & Roll Nightmare." The film, written by and starring John Mikl Thor, has one of the craziest endings in JFD history.

    Next, a killer returns from the grave (?) to kill off his former bandmates in "Rocktober Blood" from 1984. This film is chock-full of Sebastions and Rainbow Eyes.

    Finally, we catch back up with some old friends in 1987's "Slumber Party Massacre 2." The killer from the first flick is back and he's haunting dreams and playing rockabilly music this time!

    All this plus witty banter between friends, glitchy Skype noise, fussing, fighting, carrying on, soundboard antics, Junk Mail, DVD & Blu-ray releases, Nerd News and so much more!

    Direct Download Here

    Got a movie suggestion for the show, want to give your opinion on a movie we talked about or just want to tell us we suck? Drop us a line at JFDPodcast@gmail.com. Or leave us a voicemail: 347-746-JUNK (5865).


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    Get ready to party, because another beer-soaked episode of Junk Food Dinner is upon us.

    This week the fellas go back to college with Pondo Sinatra, an unattractive, unlikable rube who's dead set on getting laid. Despite a series of whacky misadventures, Pondo still remains a virgin. That is, until a chemical reaction turns him in a sexual dynamo, in the 1985 sex comedy The Party Animal directed by David Beaird and starring Matthew Causey and Timothy Carhart.

    Then, we take a trip to a remote town out west with Horshack from Welcome Back, Kotter (Ron Palillo) and his goofy friends as they try to unravel the secrets of a decades old murder and a sexy ghost with fake tits in the 1990 horror flick Hellgate directed by William A. Levey.

    And finally, an eccentric homeowner with telekinetic powers (John Wintergate, who also wrote and directed the film) puts an ad in the paper luring attractive young women to move in with him. But between parties and dips in the hot tub, the women begin dying off in one of the first shot-on-video horror films, Boardinghouse from 1982.

    All this plus witty banter between friends, glitchy Skype noise, soundboard antics, punk rock, Junk Mail,DVD & Blu-ray releases, Nerd News and so much more!

    LISTEN NOW:

    MP3 Direct Download

    Got a movie suggestion for the show, want to give your opinion on a movie we talked about or just want to tell us we suck? Drop us a line at JFDPodcast@gmail.com. Or leave us a voicemail: 347-746-JUNK (5865).

    Also, if you like the show, please take a minute and subscribe and/or comment on us on iTunes, Stitcher, Blubrry or Podfeed.net. We gain prowess with the ladies from your love and support.

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    Better late than never, JUNK FOOD DINNER 109 is here! This week is a real smorgasborg of crazyness as we take a look at 3 films spanning time...AND SPACE!

    Up first, we take a look at a film from Turkey (by way of a cool custom DVD from listener Joe, in Sweden) - 1984's OLUM SAVASCISI. Ninjas, melty mummies, kicking, arrows, and more from the king of Turkish cinema Cuneyt Arkin!

    Next, it's more Wynorski nuttiness as terrorists take over an unassuming high school. Too bad for them, Corey Haim has detention slips for everyone - PERMANENT DETENTION! Alan Thicke also stars as a totally unbelievable cop. Drill-saws abound in the very 90's DEMOLITION HIGH!

    Finally, we blast off on one of our sexiest adventures yet. This doctor makes more than house calls, etc. A bevy of cult babes pepper this curious sci-fi romp - DR. ALIEN!


    Direct Download Here.

    All this plus witty banter between friends, glitchy Skype noise, soundboard antics, cool jams, plenty of yuks, Junk Mail, DVD & Blu-ray releases, Nerd News and so much more!

    Got a movie suggestion for the show, want to give your opinion on a movie we talked about or just want to tell us we suck? Drop us a line at JFDPodcast@gmail.com. Or leave us a voicemail: 347-746-JUNK (5865).

    Also, if you like the show, please take a minute and subscribe and/or comment on us on iTunes, Stitcher, Blubrry or Podfeed.net. We gain shop class credit from your love and support.

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  • 05/23/12--04:28: Workin' on our Night Claws
  • Check it! A post that isn't just an episode of the show! Sorry for that, we're very lazy. But I'm not so lazy that I could simply not share this gem. On the next episode of JFD (which will be up later today or tomorrow morning), we'll be talking about David Prior's '80s slasher, "Killer Workout." Prior's current project is "Night Claws," a horror flick about a Bigfeetsman that kills a bunch of teens and campers and stuff. This seems pretty notable due to its lack of CGI in favor of a dude in a sweet Bigfoot suit and Reb Brown (of "Space Mutiny," "The Howling 2" and (The Crappy) "Captain America") as the town's sheriff or something. The movie's apparently wrapped and done and is just looking for distribution. Here's hoping they find it soon!


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    Junk Food Dinner Assemble!!

    First up this week, Corey Haim returns as tough Bronx youth Lenny Slater in 1999's "Demolition University." Once again, Slater must stop terrorists from destroying his school. Robert Forster and Ami Dolenz costar.

    Then, a small Texas town becomes ground zero for mindless zombies in "Bloodsuckers from Outer Space" from 1984. This horror/sci fi/comedy is an homage/spoof of low budget 50s flicks.

    Finally, a slasher is stalking a fitness gym in 1987's "Killer Workout (aka Aerobicide.)" David A. Prior writes and directs this horror/action hybrid.

    Direct Download Here

    Got a movie suggestion for the show, want to give your opinion on a movie we talked about or just want to tell us we suck? Drop us a line at JFDPodcast@gmail.com. Or leave us a voicemail: 347-746-JUNK (5865).


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    What's creepier than clowns? Nothing, right? Their weird painted faces, yellow teeth and dead eye stares ...shudder... Well, this week we face our fears head on and dissect the Good, the Bad and the Ugly of creepy-ass clown movies.

    The Good: Killer Klowns from Outer Space from 1988 starring Grant Cramer (Hardbodies), Suzanne Snyder (Return of the Living Dead part 2) and Junk Food Dinner's favorite asshole authority figure John Vernon (Animal House, Savage Streets) about a small town that is terrorized by a group of extra terrestrial clowns. This fun and colorful cult classic is directed by Stephen Chiodo and features memorable make-up effects from the Chiodo Brothers (Critters, Ernest Scared Stupid).

    The Bad: The Clown Murders from 1976 starring a very young John Candy. This misleading Canadian kidnapping movie directed by Martyn Burke (Top Secret!) has little to do with clowns and certainly isn't scary. Unless, you count the John Candy sex scene, which is utterly horrifying.

    The Ugly: Clownhouse from 1989 starring Sam Rockwell (Moon, Iron Man), Nathan Forrest Winters and a guy named Tree. This horror flick tells the tale of three brothers stalked by a gang of escaped mental patients dressed as clowns. The film was made infamous by virtue of the fact that the director Victor Salva (Powder, Jeepers Creepers) was arrested for sexually abusing the young lead actor, Winters. That information mixed with the film's creepy pedophilic undertones makes this a difficult one to watch.

    All this plus witty banter between friends, glitchy Skype noise, soundboard antics, The Dickies, Junk Mail, DVD & Blu-ray releases, Nerd News and so much more!

    LISTEN NOW:


    MP3 Direct Clownload

    Got a movie suggestion for the show, want to give your opinion on a movie we talked about or just want to tell us we suck? Drop us a line at JFDPodcast@gmail.com. Or leave us a voicemail: 347-746-JUNK (5865).

    Also, if you like the show, please take a minute and subscribe and/or comment on us on iTunes, Stitcher, Blubrry or Podfeed.net. We gain pies in the face from your love and support. 

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    High-five, you guys! Junk Food Dinner is back with another episode to squash the drudgery of modern living or whatever. This week we really spread it out as we take a look at three films that couldn't have anything less to do with each other!

    Up first the Shaw Brothers kick our brains out and then chew them up and regurgitate them - and that's not even the half of it! We examine 1983's MO (a/k/a: THE BOXER'S OMEN) - a heady mix of kung-fu, Buddhism, black magic, and psychedelic insanity. A headstrong boxer swears revenge after his brother is paralysed in a dirty fight, but along the way finds he has a much bigger task at hand and must make mincemeat of an evil sorcerer!

    Next, Frank Darabont dips back into the Steven King well and comes up with a big bucket of THE MIST from 2007. When a group of strangers get trapped in a supermarket after a mysterious fog rolls into town, they must fight for survival against monsters from another world as well as this one. With a fantastic cast, great camerawork, and a sense of paranoia as thick as well...the...the uh, mist itself - this is one you shouldn't miss(t).

    Finally, Bobcat Goldthwait is back - with mixed results. This 2012 satire - GOD BLESS AMERICA - finds us butting heads and occasionally raising our voices! After losing his job, his parking spot, his family, and his will to live; Frank opts out of eating his gun and instead turns on the "more deserving" - but not before teaming up with his platonic spree-killing partner - Roxy. No one is safe from this bloodbath as reality TV, child molesters, religious fanatics, and more come between the crosshairs!

    All this plus witty banter between friends, glitchy Skype noise, soundboard antics, misappropriated funk songs, Junk Mail, DVD & Blu-ray releases, Nerd News and so much more!


    Direct Download Here.

    Got a movie suggestion for the show, want to give your opinion on a movie we talked about or just want to tell us we suck? Drop us a line at JFDPodcast@gmail.com. Or leave us a voicemail: 347-746-JUNK (5865).

    Also, if you like the show, please take a minute and subscribe and/or comment on us on iTunes, Stitcher, Blubrry or Podfeed.net. We gain realistic looking bats from your love and support.

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    You asked for it, now you gotta live with the consequences! Our "Killing Kids" episode is finally here!

    First, kids attack a small town and everyone's obsessed with literature for some reason in Troma's "Beware! Children at Play" from 1989.

    Then, 2000's hit Japanese film "Battle Royale" features school children forced to fight to the death in a violent tournament.

    Finally, English tourists visit an island where all the kids have turned psycho in "Who Can Kill A Child?" from 1976.

    All this, New Improved Nerd News, DVDs, and a sick Junk Mail segment with a letter from @SawFan666!


    DIRECT DOWNLOAD.

    Got a movie suggestion for the show, want to give your opinion on a movie we talked about or just want to tell us we suck? Drop us a line at JFDPodcast@gmail.com. Or leave us a voicemail: 347-746-JUNK (5865).


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    Mutant poodles, cannibalism, cops in drag... this episode of Junk Food Dinner really has it all!

    Up first, we take a trip to the mortuary with boring cop Ed Nelson (A Bucket of Blood) and homely psychic Deborah Rose (Ski Patrol). Besides being inhabited by over-the-hill TV stars (Phyllis Diller, Norman Fell), the mortuary is also home to some of the creepiest demons and goofiest mutants ever committed to VHS, in the 1991 straight-to-video horror flick The Boneyard.

    Then, the campy VHS fun continues as we take a glimpse into the life of Donald, played by old-time comedian Jackie Vernon (Frosty the Snowman), whose wife cooks him horrible meals in their over-sized microwave until he cooks her in the 1983 horror/comedy Microwave Massacre.

    And finally, Lauren Ambrose (Six Feet Under, Can't Hardly Wait) plays Chicklet, a naive girl with multiple personalities who just wants to be accepted by the cool surf kids (Thomas Gibson, Nicholas Brendon), all while dead bodies keep poppin' up in the 2000 60's beach movie spoof Psycho Beach Party, based on the play by Charles Busch.

    All this plus witty banter between friends, glitchy Skype noise, soundboard antics, stories about goth crushes, Junk Mail, DVD & Blu-ray releases, Nerd News and so much more!

    LISTEN NOW:



    MP3 Direct Download 

    Got a movie suggestion for the show, want to give your opinion on a movie we talked about or just want to tell us we suck? Drop us a line at JFDPodcast@gmail.com. Or leave us a voicemail: 347-746-JUNK (5865).

    Also, if you like the show, please take a minute and subscribe and/or comment on us on iTunes, Stitcher, Blubrry or Podfeed.net. We gain microwaved poodles from your love and support. 


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  • 06/24/12--02:04: Parker vs. Wishmaster
  • So, I've decided to watch another horror franchise and document my findings. I did this last year when I discovered that I knew almost nothing about the "Saw" movies and needed to learn to avoid "grampa" status. You can read that here. This time around, I considered "Resident Evil," but figured since it's still (somehow) going on, I should wait for that to end before trying to sit through them all. And I considered, and even momentarily committed to "Hellraiser," before realizing that I'm a little too afraid of that franchise on account of the fact that Pinhead falls into all the worst franchise tropes: He goes to space, he goes to Hell, he goes to the internet, etc.) and that sounds like too much for my ol' heart to take.

    So, I settled on something that I liked when it came out, but seems comical in retrospect: "The Wishmaster." I was stoked on this movie when hit theaters due to the commercials assuring me that it was "presented by" Wes Craven, whatever "presented by" was supposed to entail. In reading about this movie, I have found very little that actually connects Craven to this movie other than his Executive Producer credit. Though, in the documentary on the DVD, writer Peter Atkins, says he was approached by some people who wanted him to write a movie about a killer genie. I assume that was Craven. I assume that after the failures of "Shocker" and "Vampire in Brooklyn," Craven had given up on his hopes to successfully create another wise-cracking, franchise-ready Freddy-like character himself and was pawning off his ideas on others, who'd do the heavy lifting.

    And that's what is at the heart of this movie. Not that that was original at the time. It seems like a lot of weirdo trash talking, magical horror monsters popped up in the 90s to try to cash in on Freddy's success as a chatty killer in a genre full of franchise slashers whose biggest lines of dialogue were deep breaths. So, a bunch of talkative little dickheads popped up in horror, like Chucky, Dr. Giggles, the Leprechaun and even Pinhead and Candyman could be lumped in, though their senses of humor were pretty dry.

    This Djinn, though, falls almost right in line with Freddy as a wise-cracking, gross-faced killer with basically unlimited magical powers, provided (of course) they manage to catch you asleep or in the act of wishing for something.

    ANYWAY, for the movie itself, we open up in Persia circa 1100 AD or so and the Djinn is already having a great time fucking up a courtyard full of people while trying to entice the King into making a third wish, which would allow the Djinn's gang of ghouls to come to earth and start running shit. Man, oh man, do I love a movie that starts out with a massacre. The Djinn's turning people into trees and snakes and stuff. Dudes are getting ripped up by belly monsters. It's all very "Hellraiser 3," minus the chains and lethal compact discs. Oddly, Wishmaster's writer wrote a few "Hellraiser" movies. Anyway, one dude's skeleton even walks right out of his skin like he's got an appointment to get to and starts killing other people. I love the idea of skeletons as scary monsters. There've been movies about haunted eyes, brains that wouldn't die, alien penises, tooth-filled vaginas and even a zombie buttcrack, but skeletons are really the only body part that's stood the test of time as a scary monster.

    Anyway, some wizard locks The Djinn in a very pretty rock before the king can make a third wish. The Djinn's make-up effects look great. He's scary and inhuman without being so covered in crap that it covers up the great performance by Andrew Divoff (who fucking rules.) The Djinn is probably the scariest looking dude who wears Bugles on his fingertips.

    So, in the future (i.e. the present), Robert England and Ted Raimi are overseeing some people unloading freight on the docks. A comically drunk crane operator (played by Joseph Pliato from "Day of the Dead"(notice a trend?)) drops a crate on Raimi. A quick note: pretty much everyone in this movie is some awesome horror movie actor. This was fucking awesome in 1997 and I cheered every time Tony Todd or Reggie Banister showed up, but the appeal of stacking your movie with iconic actors seems to have worn off in recent years (I blame Adam Green.) Anyway, in the wreckage, a less drunk(?) dockworker finds the Djinn's stone and snags it, sells it to a pawn shop dude who sells it to a fellow named Nick Merrit, who gives it to the main character of the film, Alexandra, who then gives it to her tennis partner/friendzoned boy toy. At this point, The Djinn's stone has effectively gone through more hands than a VHS dub of "Surf II."

    The friendzoned homeboy accidentally releases The Djinn, who starts off as some kind of weirdo genie fetus (played by Verne Troyer!), but gets to be an adult after killing a little bit. He then takes on a weird obsession with Alexandra, which is very confusing and vague. Alexandra didn't free the Djinn, nor was she the first person who found the stone. Oh well. Sometimes when you're a magic genie, you get to pick your own master, I guess.

    What follows is The Djinn running into people and getting them to passively wish for things and then doing a Twilight Zone kind of twist granting of that wish. He meets up with Kane Hodder, playing a security guard, who says to the Djinn that "In order to see my boss, you'd have to go through me... which I'd love to see." The Djinn turns him into a glass door and walks through him. Which, of course, begs the question: what exactly is a wish? Over the course of the movie, the wishes devolve from people actually saying they WISH for things to people just kind of vaguely mentioning things they'd like in passing.

    While this is going on, Alexandra has a scary nightmare, which leads us further into Freddy rip off territory. When she finally meets the Djinn (and wishes him to kill himself), he shoots himself in the had and lives through it to show off how unstoppable he is, which is another trick he must have learned at Freddy's "How to be a Magical Slasher" course at community college. Also, like Freddy, he can just be other people or be more human looking, from time to time. In fact, The Djinn has this whole human alter-ego named Nathaniel Demorest, which is a pretty fucking solid nickname for a monster.

    If you're gonna watch this movie, prepare for a bunch of the shittiest, out of place jump scares in horror history. There's a scene where a student walks into a morgue and a jar full of eye balls are thrust into his (and our) face. Sure, a jar full of eyes is scary (and foreshadows the student's death), but why is the other kid walking out the front door of the morgue with those eyes? Is he just taking them home? In another scene, Alexandra is talking to an old lady about genies during rehearsals for some kind of play. During a lull in the conversation, a student wearing a scary mask pops into Alex's face (and ours) and screams "WHERE DO YOU WANT THE MASKS?!?!" or something. The level of pop-up scare subtlety in this rivals the ghost woman in "House on Haunted Hill" that was later revealed to just be a blind lady that wandered into the house.


    Blind people don't walk like this!

    Everything cimaxes at a never-mentioned-until-the-third-act party at Simon Beaumont's (Robert Englund) house that all the main characters have been invited to, even the ones who never met Simon in the previous 70 minutes! We get to relive the opening scene massacre, as Simon wistfully mentions a vague desire to have a party that people would remember.

    Sadly, for this massacre (and a lot of other effects-heavy scenes in this movie), things look confusing. Practical effects in 1997 were pretty top notch, and the movie was directed by fx guru Robert Kurtzman, which no doubt helped things on that end, so the practical effects in this flick are pretty badass. A practical fx man overseeing an fx movie in a great time for practical fx, and it turns out better than you'd probably assume. HOWEVER, while 1997 was a great time for practical fx, it was a fucking abysmal time for cgi fx and there's a whole lot of that. And, as you might expect, it all looks pretty horrible. So, in these massacre scenes, you alternate quickly between "Oh man! That dude is getting decapitated by piano strings! How gruesome!" and "Ew, man... that girl turned into glass and exploded. Looks like something from the 'Hercules' tv show. Yuck."

    The Djinn creates some amazing looking minions made out of statues and one not so amazing looking minion in Jack The Ripper. The inclusion of Jack the Ripper in this scene is astoundingly odd and misplaced. It's like some producer was like...

    Producer: Hey. I just saw a special on the History Channel about Jack the Ripper. Put him in the movie.
    Robert Kurtzman: But this movie is about an evil genie. That would not make sense.
    Producer: I sure can't wait to see that Jack the Ripper in your movie.... (walks away).

    Amidst all this chaos, Alex must make her final, world-destroying wish, or watch her little sister die in a painting fire. You know, you can really feel the emotion in a scene when, rather than using the real actors, you use paintings of them. Though, in this movie, that may not be that bad. Tammy Lauren, who plays Alex, is just awful. She has some classically bad line readings in some of the times she tells the Djinn to fuck himself or calls him a son of a bitch. All her "acting" is so painfully straight out of a VHS "How to Act" tape. Everything she does makes me think "Oh, yeah. They taught that trick on episode 5 of VH1's "Scream Queens," I remember that one."

    Anyway, in traditional Wes Craven fashion, this movie ends with the protagonist wishing it all away. Alex's "I wish this never happened!" is the same, lame ass ending that we got when Nancy told Freddy that she wasn't afraid of him and he turned into light and faded away. On the bright side, though, wishing a genie away makes more sense than just turning your back on a dude with a razor hand who killed all your friends and hoping for the best.

    As much as I rail on this movie, I love it. I won a Wishmaster shirt at the very first Horrorama in my hometown and I revisit this one from time to time. It's fun, Andrew Divoff as the Djinn is just great. The way he says "Wishez" makes me wanna be his friend so that I can be like "Hey, Andrew Divoff. You want a soda?" and he'd be all "Sure, Parker. Gotta stay refreshed while we're watching Julian Sands movies and making fun of 'Blood Lake.'" and I'd be all "As you wish!!!" and we'd laugh and laugh and then hug. The cameos are great, too. If you wanna make a drinking game out of spotting all the horror icons, you'd probably be wasted by the time you got to Tony Todd. And, of course, the effects. If you're into practical effects, see this movie right now.


    Stay tuned to JunkFoodDinner.com for Parker's reviews of the rest of the "Wishmaster" saga.

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    Rise and shine, everyone! It's "walking taco" day in the messhall, and Junk Food Dinner is in charge of the bonfire. Also, some of the other campers have been murdered.

    First - a film that provides an impressive argument against ever braving the wilderness - Angela is having a rough time at camp this year. She's shy and hates swimming, and at camp, that's already two strikes. With no friends and only her foul-mouthed cousin Ricky to keep her company, Angela isn't really getting the most out of summer - until she meets Paul. After a series of bizarre accidents and few disappearing kids, the accusations fly and earth shattering secrets are revealed in Robert Hiltzics seminal slaherterpiece - SLEEPAWAY CAMP from 1983.

    Next up - Alison and her pals are in it to win it this year at the big competition. It's hard to remember your routines when you're enveloped in a world where it's getting difficult to separate dreams from reality. When some kids go missing, Alison starts wondering if she might know more than she thinks she does. Another "blood & bugspray" cocktail but compared to SLEEPAWAY CAMP this one has way more (read: any) laughs, surreal dream sequences, and cringe-inducing rap music. We follow Betsy Russell, Leif Garrett, George "Buck" Flower, Teri Weigel, and featuring Lucinda Dickey (now with less dancing!) and more as they all pack their bags and make tracks for 1988's CHEERLEADER CAMP!

    Finally - talk about a pallete cleanser - The year is 1979 and a fresh-faced Bill Murray cracks wise, pulls pranks, and makes sure camp is unforgettable for anyone who wants to cash in (or anyone who gets in his way!) The one that started it all and taught us the rich kid camp up the road didn't stand a chance - MEATBALLS from Ivan Rietman.

    All this plus witty banter between friends, glitchy Skype noise, soundboard antics, Junk Mail, DVD & Blu-ray releases, Nerd News and so much more! And - an encore (you guys know about these right?)!

    Direct Download Here. Riiiiiiight Here.

    Got a movie suggestion for the show, want to give your opinion on a movie we talked about or just want to tell us we suck? Drop us a line at JFDPodcast@gmail.com. Or leave us a voicemail: 347-746-JUNK (5865).

    Also, if you like the show, please take a minute and subscribe and/or comment on us on iTunes, Stitcher, Blubrry or Podfeed.net. We gain trail mix from your love and support.

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    On the last episode, we each picked 10 (mostly awful) movies and put the whole list into the JFD Randomizer 2000. It ate up the list and crapped out this week's movies!

    First up, Rowan Atkinson brings funny faces and weird grunting to America in "Bean: The Movie" from 1997. The film concerns the titular Mr. Bean leaving England for Los Angeles and getting mistaken for a an art professor. Hilarity ensues!

    Then, things go exactly like the title suggests in 1973's Pinky Violence film "Terrifying Girls High School: Lynch Law Classroom." School girl gangs, bloodletting, peeing panties, blackmail, this flick's got it all!

    Finally, we discover the place where comedy goes to die: 1990's "Nuns on the Run" starring Eric Idle, Rose's mom from "Dr. Who," and the big bearded dude from "Harry Potter." A couple of criminals need to pretend to be nuns after stealing some cash. Hilarity ensues!

    DIRECT DOWNLOAD.

    Got a movie suggestion for the show, want to give your opinion on a movie we talked about or just want to tell us we suck? Drop us a line at JFDPodcast@gmail.com. Or leave us a voicemail: 347-746-JUNK (5865).

    Also, if you like the show, please take a minute and subscribe and/or comment on us on iTunes, Stitcher, Blubrry or Podfeed.net. We gain trail mix from your love and support.


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    "Wishmaster 2: Evil Never Dies" picks up right where the first one ends. Well, sort of. Not really. The statue of Ahura Mazda (that contained a red gem (that contained The titular Djinn)) is no longer owned by Robert Englund's Simon Beaumont character, as it's now in a museum. In the previous film, Beaumont was pretty adamant about getting this piece to complete his collection of weird old statues of gods (Ahura Mazda was the Persian God of Sweet Beards), but I guess in between that movie and this one he got bored of looking at the damn thing and gave it away to the cheapest looking museum in Los Angeles.

    Looking cheap doesn't stop some thieves from trying to loot the place, but I guess crummy museums attract crummy thieves and only one thief survives and escapes: a foxy late '90s goth/punk sorta broad named Morgana (the most popular name for goth/punk broads back in those days), played by Holly Fields. Somewhere in the chaos, someone shoots the Ahura Mazda statue, freeing the Djinn. Well, to say the Djinn gets "free" doesn't do it justice. The gem ejaculates Djinn jizm on a wall and The Wishmaster kinda gets born out of a newly formed wall vagina. He's born as kind of a weird larva crab thing. It's pretty educational, really.

    The Djinn starts the film out by showing us that he's been playing a lot of "Mortal Kombat III," as he turns someone into a foetus because they wish they'd never been born (Babality) and then he turns someone into an ice cube like he's goddamn Sub-Zero. The ice kill continues the original's trend of The Djinn's devolution from granting wishes to granting vague imperitive statements. The aforementioned frozen guy was a cop who chose his words wisely when advising The Wishmaster to "Freeze." Get it?

    So, The Djinn takes his human form of Nathaniel Demerest and gets arrested, tried, and put in prison in the span of about 4 hours. How do you put a guy on trial who technically doesn't exist, or more accurately, is dead (as the Djinn stole his human face from a corpse in the previous film)? Who cares? Like I said, the whole process is over in about 50 frames, so it doesn't matter too much. Turns out, it's the Djinn's plan to go to prison cuz he need to prey on the inmates so he can grant 1,000 wishes, gain 1,000 souls and THEN get Morgana to make 3 wishes so that he can open the door for his crew of Djinn homeboys to take over the world. I guess his plan failed in part one because he forgot about this whole 1,000 souls thing.

    The guy who wrote and directed this installment is the pervert responsible for "Nightmare on Elm Street 2*" so, as you can imagine, I was expecting a lot of shower rape and authority figures practicing S&M in these prisons scenes. But, aside from a scene where a guy's body folds in half so he can fuck himself in the ass, these scenes are all pretty standard stuff. (SPIT TAKE!!) A guy's body folds up and fucks itself!?

    Meanwhile, despite her best efforts, Morgana is pulled into the plot. How? I'll give you some hints. It's not good screen-writing, it's not because her character is so interesting she has no choice but be the focus. Answer: Some Freddy-esque dream sequences! In fact, Morgana's not the focus of this movie at all, or at least not until the third act. This movie, perhaps learning a lesson from almost 20 years of franchise horror killers to this point, makes it a great point that The Wishmaster is the star and as such, he gets not only the best lines, but the most screen time. Also, when you have the completely awesome, scene stealing Andrew Divoff as your killer, it's probably hard to justify filming anyone else.

    Speaking of people who aren't Andrew Divoff, they've done away with the One Horror Movie Icon Per Minute Cameo thing from the last one, but Tiny Lister and Bokeem Woodbine show up for a second, so that's something. And there's a priest that looks like a younger, scrawnier Kevin Nash.

    Despite the fact that Djinns and genies have nothing to do with Christian mythology, things get seriously Catholic. In some boring scenes that are Djinn-free, Morgana learns that to beat the Djinn, she has to become "pure." This means returning stolen goods, taking out her piercings, getting a new wardrobe and cutting off one of her fingers. I'm no theologian, but this hardly seems logical or reasonable. Oh, well. Later on, everyone goes to Hell, Morgana's priest friend gets crucified and Demerest tells everyone in prison he's The Devil (which is obviously metal). While Morgana's getting "pure," the Djinn gets mixed up with the Russian mob and takes over a casino in Las Vegas (he must have seen "Leprechaun 3" while in the slammer).

    The Djinn gets the rest of his 1,000 souls by assuming that everyone playing a nickel slot machine in Vegas is actively "wishing" for a jackpot, rather than just passively looking at pretty lights while waiting for death. Things culminate in a really cheap attempt at recreating the bad-ass party massacre from the original film (this is straight-to-video, afterall). With the drop in budget, instead of skeletons tearing themselves out of bodies and people turning into trees, we get a card shooter that shoots out cards really, really quickly and it kills people. Also, there's a roulette wheel with spikes. As you can imagine, this scene fucking sucks. Also, due to the lack of budget, The Djinn, in Djinn form, looks like a bag of shit. The make up and design take a serious turn for the worse. They gave the genie a bunch more spikes and some shitty tribal tattoos amd bigger muscles. His head no longer has those cool horns that wriggle around. I also think they gave him a lazy eye for some reason.

    Anyway, Morgana's clever wish to stop The Djinn at the end helps her become more "pure," which allows her to speak some magic Persian words that put the Djinn back in his red stone. Unlike the previous movie, Morgana doesn't make a wish that undoes everything that's happened in the film, she just wishes the Djinn to go to his stone prison,** yet everything the Djinn has done gets undone anyway, because that's how these movies go, I guess. Unlike Jason or Chucky or someone, if you beat the Djinn, all your friends get to come back to life, even if you didn't wish for that.

    Anyway, this movie is a lot cheaper and a lot dumber than the previous one. But, on the other hand, there's a lot more Divoff and some pretty wacky wish/kills (check out the guy who wants to "walk right out of jail"!) so it's worth watching. But, don't expect a whole lot from the scenes where Andrew Divoff isn't there. Check this movie out if that's what you wish! LOL!!

    *More Freddy connection.

    **Oh! Now I get it. That's clever.


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    Well, folks, Ghoul Summer is officially here! What better way to celebrate the season of sun and fun than with a trio of rape-laden exploitation classics with "house" in the title?!

    Up first, we take a look at Wes Craven's very first film about two young girls (Sandra Peabody and Lucy Grantham) who are kidnapped, raped and eventually murdered by a gang of creepy criminals, lead by Craven regular David Hess. But the tables quickly turn when the gang takes shelter in the home of one of the girl's parents in the pioneering and influential Last House on the Left from 1972.

    Then, after being released from prison, a young criminal (director Roger Watkins) assembles a crew of fellow freaks to help him make snuff films in order to get revenge on a society he feels has wronged him, in the eerie and controversial The Last House on Dead End Street from 1977.

    And finally, it's more David Hess as he and his simpleton friend Ricky (Giovanni Lombardo Radice) find themselves at a chic high society New York party. But things quickly go bad as the two men hold the party hostage and begin doing gruesome things to the party goers in 1980's House on the Edge of the Park directed by Ruggero Deodato.

    All this plus witty banter between friends, glitchy Skype noise, soundboard antics, jaunty blue grass songs about creeps, Junk Mail, DVD & Blu-ray releases, Nerd News and so much more!

    LISTEN NOW:

    MP3 Direct Download

    Got a movie suggestion for the show, want to give your opinion on a movie we talked about or just want to tell us we suck? Drop us a line at JFDPodcast@gmail.com. Or leave us a voicemail: 347-746-JUNK (5865).

    Also, if you like the show, please take a minute and subscribe and/or comment on us on iTunes, Stitcher, Blubrry or Podfeed.net. We gain razor blades from your love and support. 

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    Sweet Georgia Brown, creeps and creepettes - we're in the (dead) dog days of Ghoul Summer now!
    The heat and stench has made us crazy and this week we take a look (and can't look away) from three ghastly flicks. To aid in our understanding, we're once again joined by professional podcaster Mike Dikk, of Kissing Contest fame.
    First, it's a grisly tale of laxatives, molestation, crowbars, poop, rape, and daddy issues as we take a look at THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE 2: FINAL SEQUENCE from Tom Six. Picking up the pieces of the the first film, we find Martin. A creepy, mostly mute parking garage attendant with one dream in life - to sew the mouths of some people to the buttholes of some other people.
    Next, a rite of passage in ghoul cinema is on the menu - 1987's NEKROMANTIK! Birthed from the brain of Jorg Buttgereit, this is the classic story of a love triangle between a man, a woman, and a stinking rotting corpse dragged from the bottom of a pond. A VHS staple for weirdos the world over, NEKROMANTIK set the bar for years and was the intro to a much darker (and often pretty funny) place for any kid with a video store account.
    Finally, it's the bottom of the barrel as we talk 2010's "film" THE BUNNY GAME from "director" Adam Rehmeier. A prostitute, who has a bunch of terrible shit happen to her gets picked up by a trucker and then has a bunch more terrible shit happen to her. That's all! Choppy editing, pummeling "brutal" metal, and a barely there script made this an appropriate way to cap off the darkest episode in the history of the show!
    All this plus witty banter between friends, glitchy Skype noise, soundboard antics, potential script ideas, Junk Mail, DVD & Blu-ray releases, Nerd News and so much more!

    Direct Download Here, pervert.

    Got a movie suggestion for the show, want to give your opinion on a movie we talked about or just want to tell us we suck? Drop us a line at JFDPodcast@gmail.com. Or leave us a voicemail: 347-746-JUNK (5865).
    Also, if you like the show, please take a minute and subscribe and/or comment on us on iTunes, Stitcher, Blubrry or Podfeed.net. We gain juicy delicious eyeballs from your love and support.







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    First up, Ben Foster wakes up on a seemingly empty spaceship and has to deal with mutants and madness in 2009's "Pandorum." The sci-fi horror hybrid is a claustrophobic nightmare as the ship's remaining crew struggle to complete their mission, if they can remember what it is.

    Next, it's goofy jokes, meta humor and campiness in the classic "Return of the Killer Tomatoes" from 1988, starring George Clooney and John Astin. Prof. Gangrene is out to wage another tomato war on the citizens of Earth and it's up to a couple of slackers to stop him in this sequel to the cult classic.

    Finally, war vets on a camping trip get more than they bargained for in 1990's "Kill Crazy," starring, written, and directed by David Heavener. Everything is over the top in this story of war, revenge and small, seemingly out of place shacks.

    We've also got Nerd News, Junk Mail, DVDs, all that jazz!!

    Direct Download

    Got a movie suggestion for the show, want to give your opinion on a movie we talked about or just want to tell us we suck? Drop us a line at JFDPodcast@gmail.com. Or leave us a voicemail: 347-746-JUNK (5865).


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    Catholicism, Criminals and Cannibals; this episode of everybody's favorite cult movie podcast really has something for everyone.

    Up first, we debate whether Joseph Guzman's 2010 Nude Nuns with Big Guns, starring Asun Ortega and David Castro, is a fun, well-made throwback to the grindhouse era or simply an uninspired Robert Rodriguez knock off.

    Then, we examine the gory 1972 Spanish western Cut-Throats Nine, directed by Joaquín Luis Romero Marchent, about a group of criminals shackled together and traveling through the wilderness. Starring Claudio Undari, Emma Cohen and Alberto Dalbés.

    And finally, we're split on whether to laugh or groan at the 1989 gender relations satire Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death, starring cult babes Shannon Tweed, Karen M. Waldron and Adrienne Barbeau plus a younger, less funny Bill Maher.

    All this plus witty banter between friends, glitchy Skype noise, soundboard antics, Hall &; Oates covers, Junk Mail, DVD & Blu-ray releases, Nerd News and so much more!

    LISTEN NOW:


    MP3 Direct Download

    Got a movie suggestion for the show, want to give your opinion on a movie we talked about or just want to tell us we suck? Drop us a line at JFDPodcast@gmail.com. Or leave us a voicemail: 347-746-JUNK (5865).

    Also, if you like the show, please take a minute and subscribe and/or comment on us on iTunes, Stitcher, Blubrry or Podfeed.net. We gain rosaries and bullets  from your love and support.

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    With all traces of Ghoul Summer leaving our bodies, JFD returns with a kinder, gentler podcast experience for you and yours.

    Up first, it's a whirlwind of fists, squibs, misguided musical choices, and thick accents as we take a look at the first martial arts film from the Emerald Isle - 1998's SOV arse-kicker FATAL DEVIATION. When a young man returns from reform school to avenge the death of his father, he's entered into a tournament and forced to fight to the death. Can he be the champion and still find time to save the damsel in distress, rebuild his home, beat up almost everyone in town, and participate in a seemingly endless training montage? (Spoiler: Yes, he can.)

    Next, we dip back in the Julian Sands well and come up with a bucket of mid-90's made for TV sci-fi in the form of THE TOMORROW MAN. Sands plays a robot, named Ken (!!!!!!!), sent from the future to save the past. He teams up with the man who essentially created him (played by Giancarlo Esposito) to stop the bad guys and learn a thing or two about what it means to truly be human. A cast of some quality character actors and the sweet kiss of CGI shapeshifting from 1996 make for a surprisingly entertaining watch.

    Finally, if it ain't broke don't fix it. It's one of the finest sex comedies to ever grace (or maybe grease?) the screen. 1983's SCREWBALLS sets the bar pretty high for some low-brow laughs. Five unlikely friends make a pact to get even with the popular prude who got them all thrown in detention. It's time to put their heads together and come up with a list of schemes so crazy - they just might work. Turn your brain off and we'll see you after class.

    Direct Download Here, boy-o.

    All this plus witty banter between friends, glitchy Skype noise, soundboard antics, Junk Mail, botched Jennifer Tilly impressions, the terrifying truth about Clue Jr, DVD & Blu-ray releases, Nerd News and so much more!


    Got a movie suggestion for the show, want to give your opinion on a movie we talked about or just want to tell us we suck? Drop us a line at JFDPodcast@gmail.com. Or leave us a voicemail: 347-746-JUNK (5865).

    Also, if you like the show, please take a minute and subscribe and/or comment on us on iTunes, Stitcher, Blubrry or Podfeed.net. We gain a genuine sense of human emotions from your love and support.

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    Check it, dudes.  The trailer for the "Red Dawn" remake came out today. In it, Thor and the dorky melvin from "The Hunger Games" are America's last defense against a North Korean invasion.  A lot of snowflakes have taken to the internet to whine about how this film is merely propaganda, and perhaps that argument is not without merit. But, you know what? This is also an action movie about dudes fighting dudes. There are no CGI aliens, robots, mutants or dreams within dreams in this movie and that's okay with me. If the North Koreans have to look shady so that I don't have to see another action movie where Will Smith fights aliens, then so be it. I mean, it's not like the North Koreans are real solid dudes in real life, anyway. 

    Would changing the invading force to something fictional like "North Badguyistan" improve this film? Probably not. Just because this film implicitly states "Fictional America gets invaded by fictional North Korea" doesn't make it propaganda any more than any other action movie out there. Movies like "Battle: Los Angeles," "X-Men First Class," and "Cowboys vs. Aliens"  all dealt with the invasion of America and the post 9/11 fear of such an invasion in the American Zeitgeist. But, it was done with metaphor and CGI muppets so no one really cared, I guess. Movies like this go back to the dawn of film. Don't get too worked up about it. Besides, I know you all have a VHS copy of "Top Gun" you can't bring yourself to throw away.


    Also, propaganda or no, after "Avengers" and "Cabin in the Woods," I'd watch a flick of Chris Hemsworth reading a list of all the ways Kim Jong Il oppressed his people for 90 minutes. That dude is gold.


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    Junk Food Dinner's back, but we didn't invite our audio quality. Also, it's short attention span spookiness as we watch three horror anthologies.

    First, an all-star cast including Steve Buscemi and Christian Slater and iconic writers, including Stephen King and Arthur Conan Doyle, bring us the classic, "Tales from the Darkside: The Movie," from 1990.

    Next, Vincent Price and John Carradine invite us to 1981's "The Monster Club." Where Campy parties meet goth, morose stories in a bizarre mash up of Shadmoks and VampGhouls and all types of ill shit.

    Finally, some ghouls raid a coffin to find their favorite movie in "Creeptales," from ... uh, sometime in the '80s, though it wasn't released until 2004. Keep your eyes peeled for the voice of Spongebob as a purse snatcher.

    Direct Download here!

    Got a movie suggestion for the show, want to give your opinion on a movie we talked about or just want to tell us we suck? Drop us a line at JFDPodcast@gmail.com. Or leave us a voicemail: 347-746-JUNK (5865).


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